The Fine Print - A collection of some of the more interesting (and legally binding) electronic agreements from around the net. You should feel comfortable that millions of highly trained, computer savvy people worldwide, unflinchingly and blindly accept these terms regularly every minute of every day. So don't feel bad about glossing over them yourself. Of course, in some cases, clicking on these links means you agree to the usage terms of the web site before you can actually read it, don't you? Heck, just reading this means you've already agreed to the terms of this website. Enjoy! 

Wisconsin credit card Agreement

Check with your spouse and lawyer to make sure you clearly understand the special requirements of your home state:

Notice to Married Wisconsin Residents:
No provision of any marital property agreement, unilateral statement under Section 766.59 of the Wisconsin statutes, or court order under Section 766.70 adversely affects the interest of the creditor unless the bank, prior to the time the credit is granted or an open-end credit plan is entered into, is furnished a copy of the agreement, statement or decree, or has actual knowledge of the adverse provision. IF I AM A MARRIED WISCONSIN RESIDENT, CREDIT EXTENDED UNDER THIS ACCOUNT WILL BE INCURRED IN THE INTEREST OF MY MARRIAGE OR FAMILY.

 

 

New England Patriots

Football Champion New England Patriots.  You'll never watch the game the same way again.

New England Patriots Web Site Agreement

 

 

U Click

U Laugh. Unless you usurp your legal bounds. Then you're screwed.

UClick Terms of Use

Microsoft

This fine print contract is included, via a clickable link, in the Microsoft Office 2008 for Mac EULA. Keep in mind, this isn't even the argeement itself! THAT you quickly skip over. This is in addition to the actual agreement. And you still agree to it:

Microsoft Office 2008 EULA 'Inclusion by' link

 

Another one from Microsoft. That's no surprise since they make lots of beneficial things. Ironically, this one is from a 'TRUSTe' safe surfing agrement. Everything from X-box to zip code collection to children's personal information collection to web beacons and cookies. Enjoy:

Microsoft Online Privacy Statement

 

Yet another one from Microsoft. Although not really a 'Terms of Service,' page, I'm certain, you can't go near any of these trademarked images or logos without proper written permission. Although, linking to them is fine (I think). Don't forget - by visiting you agree to Microsoft's Terms of Use!

Microsoft Intellectual Property Trademarks

 

 

Apple iTunes

This has got to be a record setter! Sixty pages, 19,170 words. This is the largest contract you've never read. I've never had to read so much in order to understand my legal requirements before enjoying my music. I just wanted to listen to The Doors. This is longer than a mortgage contract. Somewhere, a law firm got a couple of sailboats out of this effort. Oh, and in what's becoming more standardized practice, don't overlook the casual inclusion of a separate document:

Apple iTunes Terms of Service

 

 

Guiness Beer

From one of the best dark beers in the world.  Naturally, reading this won't make you thirsty:

Guiness Beer Web Site Terms and Conditons

 

 

FedEx

Here's my favorite part (where you can submit to willful exploitation of submitted ideas): "FedEx does not accept ideas, concepts, or techniques for new services or products through fedex.com. If such information is received, it will not be considered confidential and FedEx will be deemed free to use, communicate and exploit such information in any manner it chooses."  Thanks for visiting FedEx!

FedEx Terms of Service

 

 

Natural News

Who says there's no room for humor? We'd recommend reading paragraph "25. Special Considerations." And bring your checkbook.

Natural News Terms of Service

 

 

VMWare

Wow! They just keep getting longer! This one's over 8000 words. Are you really sure you don't need to consult with an attorney?

VMWare Fusion EULA

And the main VMWare Terms of Service Page has over thirty License Agreements! Make sure you find the one that's applicable to you.

VMWare Main Terms of Service web page

 

 

Weebly

Now this web design company is committed - and so are you if you visit, since you agree to "irrevocable acceptance" of the TOS. For you novices, you'll notice at the end that "The section titles in the TOS are for convenience only and have no legal or contractual effect." I was going to ask.

Weebly Terms of Service